Audience

This is a song I wrote a few years back during our youth camp in Baguio. I'm still trying to recall the second verse, but anyway, here's the first part. I'll try to upload an audio file soon. =P

"Audience"

I have tried
Doing it all on my own
And failing I
Looked for ways to go on
And be strong

And I've travelled in this
Endless road of
Trying, failing, crying
Until I saw your cross
But now I'm crying cause You died
And You gave it all before
You've given me Your cross

What else can I do
But sit and trust You
And wait for Your pow'r
To work here, now

What more can I say
Than Lord have Your way
Come live in my life
I'm just Your audience

120709

It hasn't been such a very good night. It's like whenever I attempt to smile, tears would start welling in my eyes. My heart feels heavy. Every beat seems distant, silent. It's like my heart is in a void, and my chest hollow. I think i need a hug.

=(

umaga, tanghali, gabi.

umaga.
mamumulat ang mga mata
sa alaala ng gabing nakalipas,

tanghali.
maghihintay ng tawag na hindi darating,
mapapatingin sa pintong walang magbubukas.

gabi.
muling lulunurin ang puso
ng mga luhang hindi naman maiiyak.

debelop

sa bawat hindi pagsabi, na pinapakita naman ng bawat pagkilos; sa bawat tamis ng ngiti at sulyap ng mga mata,

ay ang patuloy na pagkahulog ng mga puso sa banging walang kasiguruhan ang lalim.

Some thoughts. 082209.

On discrimination.

"It's unfair to judge another person's lifestyle based on your own experience, and silly to try to force your own philosophy and ideology into them. We all live under different circumstances, and grew up having different situations. People don't just do what they do because they want to, nor do they live their lives the way they do just because."

"If they want to live the way they do, let them. Don't hate them coz they're not like you."

"It's about being human, no matter what class, race, or gender."

****

i wanted to write a poem,

about the things that have been going on in my mind,

but the only word i could come up with

..was your name.

Montague

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

-Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Just Like A Star (Corrine Bailey Rae)

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh...
Your love,

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Now I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

Ayoko Nang Managinip

ayoko nang managinip
lalo pa’t alam kong
hindi naman mangyayari
at sa aking paggising,
maguguluhan lang ang isip ko,
mapupuno ng mga sana
at kung ano nga ba ang totoo.

ayoko nang managinip
sapagkat maaaring naisin ko
na manatili na lang doon
at huwag nang harapin
ang mapait na buhay sa mundo.

Broken Strings (by James Morrison)

Here is a song recommended to me by a friend. It's really really nice. ^^, I hope u also like it.

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last change to feel again

love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Valentine (by Carol Ann Duffy)

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

Name (by Carol Ann Duffy)

When did your name
change from a proper noun
to a charm?

Its three vowels
like jewels
on the thread of my breath.

Its consonants
brushing my mouth
like a kiss.

I love your name.
I say it again and again
in this summer rain.

I see it,
discreet in the alphabet,
like a wish.

I pray it
into the night
till its letters are light.

I hear your name
rhyming, rhyming,
rhyming with everything.

Kaya Kong Magbitiw ng Bitter Words Ngayong Gabi (ni Mark Angeles)

Kaya kong magbitiw ng bitter words ngayong gabi.
Mag-scribble-skribulan halimbawa: “Ang gabi ay pilantod
at nangangalantutay, bugbog-sarado, ang mga bituin sa malayo.
Paruo’t parito ang hangin at ngumangawang parang baka.”

Kaya kong magbitiw ng bitter words ngayong gabi.

Labs ko sya, at minsan daw labs nya rin ako.
Sa mga gabing tulad nito, nilalamas ko sya sa aking kandungan.
Nilalaplap ko sya sa silong ng marvelous na kalangitan.
Labs nya ko, at minsan labs ko rin sya.
Pa’nong di ko mamahalin ang malalaki’t bilugan nyang mga mata —parang pugita?

Kaya kong magbitiw ng bitter words ngayong gabi.

Imagine kong wala sya sakin. Ma-feel kong na-lost ko na sya
Mapakinggan ko ang gabing OA, mas lalong OA dahil wala sya.
At ang talinhaga ay dumidila sa malay tulad ng hamog sa talahib.
Ano pa bang meron dyan, Ineng, kung hindi sya mapapasaakin?
Period. Sa malayo, may ngumangawa. Sa malayo.

Aburido ang multo ko sa pagkawala nya.
At para bagang nandyan lang sya sa tabi-tabi, hinahanap ko pa sya.
Hinahanap sya ng puso ko, kapag wala sya sa tabi ko.
Ang gabi ring ito’y nagkukulapol ng dirty white sa mga troso.
Hindi na kami ang dating kaming kami.

Hindi ko na sya labs, pramis, pero labs na labs ko sya dati.
Hinahagilap ng hininga ko ang hangin para bugahan sya.
Nilalaplap na sya ng iba, tulad ng paglaplap ko sa kanya.
Ang boses nya, ang seksi nyang wankata, ang for layp nyang mga mata.

Hindi ko na sya labs, pramis, pero medyo labidabs ko pa rin sya.
Maigsi lang ang lablayp ko pero ang makalimot
sangkatutak na 50 golden years ang inaabot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito nilalamas ko sya sa aking kandungan.
Aburido ang multo ko sa pagkawala nya.
Kahit ito na ang last chance ko para magmaasim at ito na rin ang huling chuminess ko sa kanya.

paghihintay.

unti unting kinakain
ng bawat sandaling lumilipas
ang pusong umiibig.

naghihintay malilo, maangkin
o maiwang duguan muli.

Quote for the Day

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."

Quote for the Day

"Anyone can make you happy by doing something special, but only someone special can make you happy without doing anything."

been missing a lot of things lately.

lobo beach.
i've been there only once and i miss it terribly. =( lotsa good memories with some friends..




random photography.
i miss taking photos everywhere i go, and any way i want to.




candle lights.
i miss power failures and candle light evenings..




making wallpapers.
i miss making my own wallpapers.






sketches.
i used to draw a lot before. i even sold some sa mga classmates ko. super effort ako nun sa pag-shade at pag-ayos ng drawing. wala nga lang natira sa akin kahit soft copy. hehehe ang natira sa akin, ung mga sketches ko nung medyo tinatamad nko magsketch at super lonely ako. =(

poetry.
i wish i could write more.

haiz.

Meet Shesha, my dragon. =)

Here it is! Please visit him para ndi xa lonely..

Quote for the Day

"Before you find faults, be sure you are dealing with facts, not figments of the imagination.."

in tagalog,

"Masamang manlait, pero kung totoo, ayos lang."

hehehe

Quote for the Day

"You shouldn't be stupid enough to fall in love with someone who is stupid enough not to fall in love with you."

Just Because

1. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean you're exempted from heartaches.

2. Just because you experience pain doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

3. Just because you see it doesn't mean its yours.

Quote for the Day

"Words without actions are empty.

Actions without words are confusing."

Change

SAD. people change because of someone who went through their lives, causing them hurt.
SADder. the next person who comes along suffer because of that change.
SADdest. there's nothing he can do to change what has happened, and it's pointless to live on if only's.

Change The World

(this song is for you..)

If I could reach the stars I'd pull one down for you
Shine it on my heart so you could see the truth
That this love I have inside is everything it seems
But for now I find it's only in my dreams

That I can change the world
I would be the sunlight in your universe
You will think my love was really something good
Baby if I could change the world

If I could be king even for a day
I'd take you as my queen I'd have it no other way
And our love will rule in this kingdom we have made
Till then I'd be a fool wishin' for the day

That I can change the world
I would be the sunlight in your universe
You will think my love was really something good
Baby if I could change the world
Baby if I could change the world

Listen to it here: http://www.imeem.com/iona414/music/UBQK0AI_/eric_clapton_change_the_world/

peklat

akala ko kapag nagkapeklat na, ibig sabihin gumaling na ang sugat mo. hindi ko naisip na ibig din nitong sabihin na ang pagtakbo nating ito ay hindi katulad ng paghahabulan ninyo noon.
hindi naman kita hahayaang madapa. babagalan ko ang pagtakbo para makasabay sa'yo, hindi ako magmamadali, basta't kasama kita sa finish line.

IMU <3

i do.
i just do

miss you.

Quote for the Day

"Before you can be happy with someone else, you should be happy with yourself first. Nothing is more attractive than someone who radiates contentment from within."

E.K. trip

galing kami sa EK kanina.
medyo hilo pa ngayon.
ang sarap talaga mag-EK pag libre lahat. =)
nirecord ko nga pala ang space shuttle ride ko.
sa harap kami nakaupo ni alvin.
here it is!




eto pala some pics ng space shuttle ride..

The Villanelle

ugh. it's really hard to write a poem using the traditional forms such as the sonnet, sestina and villanelle.. but anyway, i did it! and got a pretty good grade for it too. i wrote this one a few years ago. =)

(Note: A villanelle follows a certain end-rhyme scheme of aba with its first and third lines repeated via a pattern in the verses following the first one.)

Moments fading into bittersweet memory
In the course of life, time does not wait
All that remains are pages in history

Each person has his own special story
Bits and pieces running out of date
Moments fading into bittersweet memory

Even kings and princes in all their glory
Are reduced to figures that stories create
All that remains are pages in history

Unforgettable experiences become blurry
When we grow old, it becomes hard to relate
Moments fading into bittersweet memory

Let’s just live life as a wonderful journey
One moment will pass, while two more await
All that remains are pages in history

There is really no need for anyone to worry
It’s just the way it works with fate
Moments fading into bittersweet memory
All that remains are pages in history

Emo (by klasmeyt April)

1 A compulsive affiliation with digital broken hearts and double-x prefixes and suffixes attached to screen names. (xxpaoisdeadxx is heartbroken because his ex-girlfriend cheated on him.)

2 Hemorrhage of blunt emotion from bands with forty-five-letter names. (His Lullaby of a Last romance That First Died In Autumn)

3 Eyeliners, excessive black rubber bangles, and one-sided haircuts with bangs to obscure vision from one eye. Hoping that they won't be seen if they refuse to see. But their vandalized shoes scream heartache. (On his sneakers: How can I say I love you back, you never made me happy.)

4 Depression at the slightest provocation. Failure to recover from a major catastrophe. Self-destruction. (You need to be a fake to understand the way I feel. You left. And then: xxpaoisdeadxx signed out)

Ang Iyong Kalungkutan (ni Mark Angeles)

Ang iyong kalungkuta'y
umaagos saking katauhan
tulad ng isang malinaw na tubig
humuhugas sa batong apog
nangingisap na itim
sa iyong mga mata.

Pinagmasdan kita.



Piliin mo mang iwan
ang mala-paraisong ilog
na bilad sa lamyos ng buwan
ay hayaan akong maging kwerdas
na sabay mong yuyukod
sa talon na pinananabikan.

Tonight (Not Again) by Jason Mraz

The night.

She brushed her hands upon my flushed cheek

Smelled of childhood remnants of a dusty weeping willow

Clouds soothe, Shredded by the calico

Were oh so vast and quick as I was on my own now.

This time like every other time I believe that I never find

Another sweet little girl with sequined sea foam eyes

Ocean lapping voice smile coy as the brightest quiet span of sky

And I’m all alone again tonight not again, not again, not again.

And don’t it feel alright. and don’t it feel so nice. Lovely.

Still I’m unable to inhale all the riches

As I’m awkward as a wound on my bones

Still I’ve got cobblestone joints and plate glass points

As I’m all by myself tonight not again not again.

And don’t it feel alright. and don‘t it feel so nice. Lovely.

Well if you should nervously break down

When its time for the shakedown would you take it

It’s when you cry just a little but you laugh in the middle that you’ve made it

And don’t it feel alright. and don’t it feel so nice. Lovely.

xvii

this is one of my faves from neruda..
i find it really sweet.

XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

istarbaks

i got this poem from my old friendster blog.

i wrote it last 2005 on a piece of tissue paper.

hehehe

two cups of water
small coffee
bits and crumbs of croissant
eaten fastly

folded tissues with poems
written all over
melted butter on a saucer

people talking
minding their own businesses
old men with their wives
some with their mistresses

clearing up
dirty tables, empty chairs
washing dishes, cleaning wares

photographs on black and white
painted walls
a flickering light

no one here
everybody’s gone
all alone now
coffee, anyone?

A Ma Mort

Moments se fanant en memoire douce-amere
Comme la couleur s'effacant d'une belle peinture
Comme des feuilles d'automne soufflees parties
Dans un tourbillon de brilliant rouge et orange
Par approcher hiver froid vents

Un plus de souffle...
Un plus de soupir...

Il est etonnant comment vie pourrait exister
Avec la lenteur tendre et faisante mal
Toute sa beaute battage dans ma poitrine douloureux...

Parfois j'oublie comment respirer
Alors je pense -- de comment heureux je suis
Tous mes jeux de solitaire
J'avais conquis et avais gagne

Je dois avoir gagne ces derniers souffles
Ces derniers soupirs
Ces dernieres sensations

Ma vie a longtemps ete complete;
Et ces moments sont faits a temoignages de beau silence
Si je peux entendre mon battement de coeur
Et sentez la terre sous mes pieds
pour la derniere fois...